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Lễ Gia Tiên

What Is a Vietnamese Tea Ceremony?

The tea ceremony is the heart of a Vietnamese wedding. Before the altar, the couple honors their ancestors, thanks their parents and elders, and receives the blessings that formally unite two families.

  • Honor Ancestors
  • Unite Two Families
  • Thank Parents & Elders
  • Receive Blessings

Where the Tea Ceremony Takes Place

Less Common Today

Lễ Đính Hôn

Engagement Ceremony

The groom's family formally asks for the bride's hand in marriage. Today it is mostly kept by very traditional families.

Often Combined

Lễ Tân Hôn

Welcome at the Groom's Home

The groom's mother welcomes the bride into the family home, accepting her as her new daughter-in-law.

In the U.S.

Many families simplify the day into one morning at the bride's home and skip the visit to the groom's house. In short, the tea ceremony can happen at any of the three, but it is most often part of Lễ Vu Quy and Lễ Tân Hôn.

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Lễ Vu Quy · Lễ Đính Hôn

The Order of Events

A traditional tea ceremony at the bride's home usually unfolds in eight moments.

  1. 1

    The Groom's Family Arrives

    The groom's family arrives carrying mâm quả offering trays. Their spokesperson meets the bride's representative at the door and asks permission to begin.

  2. 2

    Exchange of Gifts

    Bridesmaids line up at the entrance to receive the trays from the groomsmen. After photos, the gifts are carried inside and placed before the family altar.

  3. 3

    Introductions & the Bride's Entrance

    Both families introduce themselves. The bride's mother escorts her in, the groom presents her bouquet, and the elders share words of blessing.

  4. 4

    Ancestral Worship

    The couple lights incense and bows at the family altar, asking their ancestors to bless the marriage.

  5. 5
    Optional

    Exchange of Rings

    Couples may exchange wedding bands now, unless the rings are saved for a later church or Western ceremony.

  6. 7

    Family & Couple Portraits

    Before anyone heads to lunch, families gather at the altar for group photos, followed by the wedding party and portraits of the couple in their áo dài.

  7. 8

    The Lunch Celebration

    Both families sit down to a celebratory meal, sharing food and conversation to celebrate the union of two families.

Ngày Lành Tháng Tốt

Choosing the Right Date

For many Vietnamese families, the wedding date is chosen for luck, not just availability. Parents or elders often ask a monk, fortune teller, or the lunar calendar for an auspicious date and hour based on the couple's birth years.

Plan Ahead

Once elders choose a date, it is often non-negotiable, and the groom's family may be asked to arrive at a specific hour. Many families also avoid the seventh lunar month. Ask your family for the date and time early, then reserve your venue and vendors right away.

One Day or Two?

Best With a Church Ceremony

Separate Days

Tea ceremony on its own day

With a church ceremony also on the schedule, a separate day gives you more time for family photos and takes the rush out of moving between events.

Honor tradition, keep it manageable, and plan early. Either way, your day will reflect your love and your heritage.

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Tampa Bay · Florida · Destination

Vietnamese Wedding Photographer in Tampa, Florida

Looking for a photographer who understands your traditions? We are based in Tampa, FL, and happily travel wherever our couples celebrate.

  • English & Tiếng Việt
  • Photo & Video
  • Tea Ceremony to Reception
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Mâm Quả

What Goes on the Gift Trays?

At the engagement (Lễ Đính Hôn) and on the wedding morning (Lễ Vu Quy), the groom's family presents gifts on red covered trays called mâm quả. Each one expresses respect for the bride's family and hopes for a happy, prosperous marriage.

  • 02

    Trà & Rượu

    Tea & Wine

    Respect, and the joining of two families.

  • 03

    Bánh Phu Thê

    Husband & Wife Cakes

    Sweetness, fidelity, and a lasting marriage.

  • 04

    Trái Cây

    Fruit

    Fertility, prosperity, and blessings.

  • 05

    Heo Quay

    Roasted Pig

    Wealth, luck, and happiness.

  • 06

    Bánh Kẹo & Mứt

    Sweets & Candied Fruit

    A joyful, sweet future together.

  • 07

    Nến Long Phụng

    Dragon & Phoenix Candles

    Husband and wife in harmony, and eternal love.

  • 08

    Trang Sức Vàng

    Gold Jewelry

    Wealth and stability. Often placed on the bride by the groom's mother during the ceremony.

Odd Numbers

Families usually bring an odd number of trays, such as 5, 7, or 9, which is considered lucky.

Lại Quả

The bride's family keeps the gifts but returns a small portion to the groom's family as a gesture of goodwill.

The Wedding Morning

The Preparation

Traditionally, the bride and groom spend the morning apart, each getting ready at their own family's home before the tea ceremony begins.

At Her Parents' Home

The Bride

Gets ready with hair, makeup, and her áo dài, while her family prepares the altar and the home to welcome the groom's family.

At His Parents' Home

The Groom

Gets ready while his family gathers the sính lễ, the betrothal gifts of roast pig, fruit, cakes, and jewelry carried on the mâm quả trays.

Photo Tip

If both homes are part of your day, plan travel time between them and consider two photographers so neither morning is missed.

Step 1 10 to 15 Minutes

The Groom's Arrival

The groom, his family, and close friends travel together to the bride's home. A representative of the groom's family, usually a respected elder, knocks on the door and asks the bride's parents for permission to enter and receive the bride.

Once the bride's family agrees, the bridesmaids line up outside facing the groomsmen, and the mâm quả gift trays are passed from each groomsman to a bridesmaid.

Who Walks In

  1. Bridesmaids with the Gifts
  2. Groom's Parents
  3. The Groom
  4. Close Family
  5. Groomsmen

Good to Know

The tea ceremony is usually held in the living room, so space is tight. Bridesmaids and groomsmen stand toward the back to leave room for immediate family.

Step 2 10 Minutes

The Introductions

The groom's representative formally states the purpose of the visit and introduces the groom's family. Some families also present each mâm quả tray and explain its meaning.

The bride's representative then accepts the gifts, introduces the bride's family, and officially welcomes the groom's side into their home.

Order of Speeches

  1. Purpose of the Visit
  2. Groom's Family Introduced
  3. Gifts Presented (Optional)
  4. Gifts Accepted
  5. Bride's Family Introduced

Good to Know

Each family usually chooses an uncle or elder who speaks well to represent them. In bilingual families, many representatives speak in both Vietnamese and English so every guest can follow along.

Step 3 10 Minutes

The Formalities

Representatives from both families light the candles and bow before the altar to honor the ancestors. In many families, the two mothers light the dragon and phoenix candles together as a symbol of the families uniting.

The bride's father then announces her entrance, and her mother escorts her out to meet the groom and his family. The couple lights incense and bows before the altar to ask their ancestors for blessings, and often bows to their parents and to each other in gratitude.

The Sequence

  1. Candles Lit at the Altar
  2. The Bride's Entrance
  3. Couple Lights Incense
  4. Bows to Altar, Parents & Each Other
  5. Ring Exchange (Optional)

About the Rings

Many couples exchange rings here. If a church or Western ceremony is planned, rings are often saved for that moment instead.

Step 5 10 to 20 Minutes

The Family Portraits

Lining up in front of the altar or a decorated backdrop is an absolute must at a Vietnamese wedding. Take these photos right after the tea ceremony, while everyone is still together and before guests head to the reception.

If the living room is too tight for larger groups, step outside. Natural light makes a beautiful setting for big family photos.

How We Keep It Moving

  1. Shot List Planned Ahead
  2. Elders Photographed First
  3. Small Groups to Large
  4. Families Released to Celebrate

Good to Know

Before the wedding, we build a family photo list with you, so grandparents can rest early and no one is left out. Plan closer to 20 minutes for large families.

Step 6 15 to 20 Minutes

Wedding Party & Couple Portraits

It isn't every day the whole family dresses in traditional áo dài, which makes the tea ceremony a perfect moment for portraits. The bride often wears a red or gold áo dài with a khăn vành headpiece, and many grooms wear a matching áo dài and khăn đóng.

Once family photos wrap up, we gather the wedding party for group photos, then take the bride and groom for a few quiet portraits of their own.

Portrait Order

  1. Full Wedding Party
  2. Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
  3. Bride & Groom

Photo Tip

Plan these portraits before changing into reception attire. You may only wear your áo dài once, and these images become family heirlooms.

Step 7 45 to 60 Minutes

The Lunch Reception

The tea ceremony ends with a celebratory meal, where both families finally relax, get to know one another, and enjoy Vietnamese food and desserts together.

This shared meal symbolizes the union of two families and the beginning of their new connection. Many families host it at home with catering, while others move to a nearby restaurant.

Planning Tip

Hosting an evening reception the same day? Leave time after lunch for the couple to rest, refresh hair and makeup, and change before the celebration continues.

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From Our Experience

Tips for a Smooth Tea Ceremony

Eight simple habits that keep the morning calm and the photos beautiful.

  1. 01 Planning

    Plan Around the Altar

    The altar location matters to parents and is rarely flexible, and it is often in a small room. If decorators add a table and chairs for elders, use it for the first photos, then move it aside so we can capture the couple full length.

  2. 02 Planning

    Decorate the Day Before

    Set up the altar and clear extra furniture ahead of time. A ready room lets us capture candid moments instead of family members rushing to decorate.

  3. 03 Planning

    Choose a Ceremony Leader

    Pick one person from each family to lead, and make sure both know the order of events. Talk through any differences with parents in advance so everyone is on the same page.

  4. 04 Photo Tip

    Stand Tall

    Keep your back straight, chest lifted, and shoulders relaxed. A quick practice in the mirror helps you feel confident and look your best.

  5. 05 Photo Tip

    Make Jewelry Easy

    Clasps take time and pieces can drop. Let the giver place the jewelry for photos and video, and have a bridesmaid ready to fasten everything securely.

  6. 06 Photo Tip

    Remember to Smile

    It is easy to get caught up in each task. A gentle reminder to yourself and your family to smile makes a big difference in the photos.

  7. 07 Photo Tip

    Pause for Gift Photos

    Invite each relative to pause for a photo as they present their gift. Ask someone to collect the envelopes so they stay out of the pictures.

  8. 08 Photo Tip

    Photos Before Lunch

    Finish family, wedding party, and couple portraits before the meal. Once guests sit down to eat, outfits wrinkle and energy for photos fades.

Follow these steps and your tea ceremony will run smoothly and look beautiful in every photo.

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